We often learned these things without even knowing we were learning them. We learned “I am Not going to be like my parent” and yet often the funny thing is the more we tried not to be like them the more we became like them. Sometimes we even denied the fact, yet others could see the similarities so clearly.

 

You see we only know what we know and we don’t know what we don’t know. We only know what we have experienced and learned in life.

 

We have a problem and we do not have or cannot find an answer that is the time we need to get help and suggestions and ideas from others.

 

The big advantage of working with a Life Coach is that they are working with dozens or hundreds of similar situations, so they have the experience from this to help or guide you on your way.

 

This programme is not about an instant fix, this programme is about hard and often distressing work. This programme will take as long as you are prepared to take.

 

The life you have created has taken decades in ways of thinking, blaming and having excuses not to have the life you would like.

 

This programme will take as long as it takes for you to “Take Responsibility for Your Life.”

 

The work can be done quite quickly, weeks or months rather than years. Yes it does take some people years. It very much depends on how sick and tired you are of being sick and tired of the life you have.

 

Once you have these tools they are there for you use, sure you will slip up at times, we are still human, and have lessons to learn but as you proceed down the path of peace of mind then the issues of your life will not come up as often.

 

       People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.             Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost.         H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

 

 

About me

 

Married with four wonderful adult children.

 

In the late 1990s I was granted a scholarship from Coach University in the USA to train as a Life Coach. I did my training in Sydney and have been coaching with people from around the world since then.

 

Probably a more important qualification is to be still with my wife Tina after 40 years. Not always smooth running but adds to the experience of what love and relationships are about.

 

In the last 12 months I have learned and grown more than I have in the previous 39 years. This is what I want you to get!

 

Still on the journey to enlightenment. welcoming the lessons the Universe sends me where I am irritated or annoyed. These are getting further and further apart.

 

What I want for you

Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you ...           by Marianne Williamson

 

How to put the Zest & Fun back into your Life & Relationships

What to do about finding your Soul mate?

How Loved do you feel?

How to stop reliving broken relationships

How to stop taking your baggage into new relationships

Find out why you keep attracting the wrong sort of people

How to put the feeling of being Loved back into your life?

What’s stopping you having an incredible Life?

What’s stopping you being in an incredible relationship?

How to find an incredible relationship

Do you have a purpose in life?

What needs to be done to put the enjoyment back into your life?

Find out what do you want in life?

Why do you keep getting what you have got?

How to get enthusiastic about your life?

What excites you?

Find out how to change your life and everyone in it

Happiness and stress are a paradox

Find out what brings the most pleasure in your life

Flow the ultimate experience in life

 

Do you have the marriage you've always wanted?

What happens to love after the marriage?

What happens to love in relationships?

 

What you should have learnt before the wedding

What you should have learnt after the wedding

What you need to know in a new relationship

What you need to know in an old relationship

What you need to know before the next relationship

 

How much time do you put into cleaning your house or car?

How much time do you put into the things you enjoy doing?

How much time do you spend chasing or earning that elusive dollar?

How much time do you put into your relationship?

The time you put into your relationship will be 100 times more rewarding than cleaning and doing the things you enjoy doing.

 

Come along and put some time in and you will be amazed at what happens.

 

We guarantee doing the exercises and taking responsibility for the changes you want in your life, will change your life and those around you.

 

 

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love   and something to hope for. ...Allan K. Chalmers

 

 

Confidentiality

 

All our coaching sessions are strictly confidential and will not be discussed with anyone apart from associate coaches where it is deemed to be necessary to gain more insight into a situation.

 

Guarantee: 60 day 100% money back guarantee if you are not totally satisfied.

 

 

 

Instructions

 

You may have received this manual on CD or you may have received it as a printed hardcopy either way there are several options on how to use it.

 

If you want to read this programme on your computer then you will need to write your answers to the questions on a piece of paper or write them on your computer as a word document.

 

You may prefer to print this manual up and then you can write your answers directly into the book.

 

One of the most important parts of the learning is to interact with me via email.

 

We have found that in writing down your questions and answers it is much more enlightening and the most effective way of coaching.

 

 

I am here for you 100%, there is no other reason, although at times I can guarantee you will think so!

 

 

 

Questions for/from your heart

 

Write your answers on a piece of paper or copy and paste them to me as an email Email: lifespantrust@gmail.com

 

If you had to give an answer to the following questions on a scale of 0 to 10 with 10 being the highest/best.

 

1. What would you score regarding how happy you are?

2. What would you score your relationship?

3. What would you score your feeling about being loved?

4. What would you score your enjoyment of work?

 

5. What would you change or improve in your relationship with your partner?

 

 

6. What is not working for you in your life?

 

 

 

 

7. Make a list of the self defeating, self destructive, self sabotaging, addictive or habitual behaviours

 

 

 

 

8. Make a list three wonderful things that happened in your life

 

 

 

 

9. Make a list of three things you used to like to do as a child.

 

 

 

 

10. What were you or are you good at?

 

 

 

 

11. List some of the things that you would like your partner to change to improve themselves

 

 

 

 

12. Have you ever suffered from depression or other mental disorder or been in therapy?

Yes                 No

 

 

 

Life is about balance

Where in your life are things not in balance, Emotionally, Physically, Spiritually

 

What’s driving you?

A 35 year old male who had a very successful business, a beautiful wife and wonderful children. I asked him how things were in his life? His reply was his work is going so well even in times of a recession, it was almost unbelievable. I am having to work 12 hours a day and still cannot keep up.

 

I asked what about getting more staff his reply, we are doing that.

 

I thought why would he want to be at work for 12 hours a day when he could be at home with his absolutely beautiful wife and children.  What could be the reason, excuse or meme (mind virus) to want to be at work for more than to be at home?

 

His reply was I just have to do it

 

 

There are always consequences and costs of having areas of ones life out of balance. These consequences and costs do not become apparent until the unbalance increases or gets to a level where there is pain. Often the pain increases until it becomes unbearable by one or both parties or sickness or illness sets in.

 

So if you were in his situation what would you do to have a balanced life?

 

Where in your life, Emotionally, Physically, Spiritually are things unbalanced?

 

So let’s have a look at your emotional health

 

 

1	I do things slowly.
2	My future seems hopeless.
3	It is hard for me to concentrate on reading
4	The pleasure and joy has gone out of my life.
5	I have difficulty making decisions.
6	I have lost interest in aspects of life that used to be important to me
7	I feel sad, blue, and unhappy
8	I am agitated and keep moving around.
9	I feel fatigued.
10	It takes great effort for me to do simple things.
11	I feel that I am a guilty person who deserves to be punished.
12	I feel like a failure.
13	I feel lifeless -- more dead than alive.
14	My sleep has been disturbed -- too little, too much, or broken sleep.
15	I spend time thinking about how I might kill myself.
16	I feel trapped or caught.
17	I feel depressed even when good things happen to me.
18	Without trying to diet, I have lost, or gained, weight.
	Total

Copyright 1993 Ivan Goldberg. http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.html

All rights reserved. Adopted from the printed edition of the Goldberg Depression Inventory For Educational Purposes only.

You should not take this score to represent a mental disorder diagnosis or any type of behavioural healthcare treatment recommendation. Always consult with a trained mental health professional if you are experiencing depressive feelings and/or difficulties in your daily functioning that cause you anxiety or worry.

Use this questionnaire to help determine your level of depression and/or if you need to see a mental health professional for diagnosis and treatment.

SCORES

54 and up      Severely Depressed

36 - 53          Moderate – Severe

22 - 35          Mild – Moderate

18 - 21          Borderline depression

10 - 17          Possibly Mildly Depressed

0 - 9              No Depression Likely

This is not meant as a diagnosis tool and is supplied for Education purposes only.

If you are suffering from feelings which are causing you concern and interfere with your daily functioning or if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else, you should seek immediate treatment from a trained mental health professional within your community!

Most of these issues,hopefully all these issues, will be dealt with as you work through the exercises and read Eckhart Tolle’s book “A New Earth”

 

Winston Churchill's Black Dog

 

"Black Dog" was Churchill's name for his depression, and as is true with all metaphors, it speaks volumes. The nickname implies both familiarity and an attempt at mastery, because while that dog may sink his fangs into one's person every now and then, he's still, after all, only a dog, and he can be cajoled sometimes and locked up other times.

 

Depression...you don’t know it is happening to you, it is insidious. It creeps up on you without you knowing and is not noticed until it is serious or too late. You might have been depressed to some extent on and off your whole life. I call it taking the Black dog out for a walk. For about one in four people have a black dog sitting there next to them wanting to go out for a walk.

 

What most people do not realise is that there are various levels of depression as is indicated from the Goldberg scale. A score of 10 - 17  Possibly Mildly Depressed is not really detectable and some people have lived in that state on and off their whole lives. The truth is a score above 7 or 8 is unacceptable and will be affecting your life negatively. A score around 25 is not very noticeable and may have been like for years. You still should do something about it.

 

When ones score gets to about 50 or 60 its getting very serious and people get the occasional or continuous feelings how to hurt or harm themselves and even of suicidal thoughts. At this stage you must get professional medical help.

 

Depression is also kind of infectious, like the flue or a virus, your partner, friends and or people around you catch it from you. You will be depressing your partner, if they are still with you and also other people in your life. Once again we do not know or notice it is happening to others and it is certainly not a nice thing to do to people we care about.

 

Interesting being the observer ...the black dog is sitting there waiting to go out for a walk

After 15 years my black dog seems to have gone off to visit someone else  ...Yahoooo

 

Tired and Stressed

 

When we are tired or stressed our listening changes, call it what you like but we get cranky, touchy and low mood. We get our buttons pushed really easy.

 

Your Daily List

You need a list to read every day ...especially when you feel tired, stressed, overwhelmed, annoyed, or wanting to take the black dog out for a walk

 

Put on your list your two love languages from the questions below and then put on the list the things that will manipulate your mood in a positive way.

 

 

Manipulating Your Mood Positively

 

Recent scientific studies show that the five most beneficial things that we can do to improve our mood levels or our perception of feeling happy is

 

1.    To Socialize

To spend the time, when you are not working, with friends or with other people in order to enjoy yourself

            Socializing is the activity that stood out way above anything else as the behaviour that makes the most difference to ones mood level and happiness.

 

2.    Gratitude 

An exercise to do every day before you get out of bed. When you first open your eyes, say to yourself “I am grateful for ……………….” Even if you cannot think of many things, start of with just one or two then build up once you have practiced this. Some people like to also do this at night when they get into bed before they go to sleep. Others may like to write these in a journal.

 

3.    Have a friend at work

Even if you do not really have any friends at work, find one or two make one or two and socialize and interact with them. You could even pick someone you do not like and work up a relationship (a big challenge). But at the end of the day once we get to know most people on a personal level and be compassionate (see compassion section #  ) and forgiving to them then we can develop friendships.

 

4.    Spend some time in the sun

Serotonin levels increase when we are exposed to sunlight a major reason why moods tend to be more elevated

Our skin also needs sunlight, it is extremely important so that the body can produce vitamin D

 

This is not about getting a tan or getting burnt by the sun

 

5.    Exercise

Here is a tip, if you are not doing it, its head or ego stuff.

An interesting finding. Two people both walked long distances in their jobs both were weighed and fitness levels measured. One said that this was their going to the gym, the other just walked. The person who said they were going to the gym lost more weight and became fitter that the control person.

 

 

A friend of mine said yes we all know this but how do we do it and keep doing it?

 

Good question

It is about having respect and taking care of yourself, feeling worthwhile, and stopping the personal abuse, self destructive behaviours and loving oneself. And how does one do that?

 

Two ways As you will learn from Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now”. Getting control of that little voice in your head which we will call the ego. That is the voice that habitually controls our behaviour and our life.

 

Why would we do something that is slowly killing us, like smoking, over eating or not exercising or other self destructive behaviour? Have a look at the thoughts and feeling you have just before you do these things.

 

That’s the ego talking, and it will justify your behaviour with every excuse, reason, belief and feeling it can bring up from your past.

 

More about this when you do the personal development work with Eckhart Tolle and “A New Earth” latter in this program.

 

Love is About…………

 

You may not realise it but if you have answered all the questions and done the exercises above you will have indirectly identified most of the things that have been or are stopping you having the life you really want.

 

Now we can start working on these issues and find out new approaches to doing things differently and getting a new life, on that you take responsibility for.

 

How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon of falling in love? .....Albert Einstein

 

There are only two reasons why marriages and relations break up ...can you guess what they are?